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Anime Computer Viruses

Here's a list of very funny anime virii that was posted on irc a while back

Akane: Large mallet pops from top of computer and attacks.
Akira I: Your CPU accelerates into the next generation of processors (Pentium if 486, 486 if 386, etc) and then blows up and destroys the building.
Akira II: Your computer condenses all your files and then displays them so as to make them completely unintelligable
Arctic Animation: Lowers your monitor resolution and drops every fifth word from your text files.
Area 88 I: Only affects computers with flight simulator programs installed. Runs the simulator and refuses to exit until you pay it $1,000,000.
Area 88 II: Your Computer loses its will to be a simple, calculating device, and instead decides it wants to be a Cuisinart
Armitage: Your computer is never, ever happy
Ataru: Your hard drive runs faster when there's a girl in the room
Bastard! virus: Computer only works when turned on by a virgin
Belldandy: Occurs without causing any damage on its own volition, but causes your other programs to get extremely jealous.
BGC: Your computer crashes when you play rock and roll
Bon Jovina: Your computer constantly tries to run programs to powerful for it and ends up crashing.
C-ko: Breaks down loudly and irritatingly when it's not leaving bottle caps in your spreadsheets.
Cherry: Your computer gives you a premonition of doom before crashing
City Hunter: Can't run any work-related program without constantly flashing nude pictures on the screen.
Cko: Your computer just whines and whines
Crying Freeman Deletes everything in all disk drives, then weeps.
Cutey Honey :I Your PC explodes then changes into a Mac, then it explodes and turns into an Apple.
Cutey Honey II: "Sometimes I'm a Macintosh Centris 610 with a 17-inch monitor. Sometimes I'm a Pentium Pro running Windows 95. But if you want to know who I really am.. I am the Sparc workstation, CUTEY HONEY!"
DIC Sailor Moon: Only affects text files. This virus causes 10-20% of any text file to be deleted, then uses a built-in theasuraus to change 30% of the other words. It finally ends up by adding a "Sailor Says..." message that has *nothing* to do with the topic of the original text file.
Dirty Pair: Accidentally destroys your house in the process of taking out your hard drive
Dr. Tofu: Your computer crashes when Kasumi appears
El Hazzard: A strange, porpised-headed furry thing jumps out of your computer when you try to access a "help" file
End of Summer: Will keep going back and forth between the floppy and hard drives when you're trying to get to the CD-ROM.
Evangelion: Your computer gives you Absolute Terror then goes berserk
Fireflies: your computer becomes hopelessly depressed and stops working. If you have a good soundblaster card, you can hear audible weeping.
Fist of North Star: Your computer attacks your hard drive and 10 seconds later it explodes
Gall Force I: Your computer feels a strange urge to take a shower every, say,five minutes or so
Gallforce II: Your PC mysteriously becomes impregnated with some Mac language.
Gemma: Allows you to take the CPU out and have the computer still function.
Genma: A pesky one; each time you run a debug, virus scan or diagnosis program, the computer will display a large panda face with an oblivious "I didn't do it" face.
Ghost in the Shell: Your computer exposes its hard drive and then makes it disappear
Gunbuster: Your computer takes 12,000 years to do anything
Noriko variant: and whines the entire the time...
Happosai: Computer does nothing but download files from the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.lingerie newsgroup.
Hentai: Deletes everything except GIF and JPEG files
Hentai2: this Virus messes with your video card so as to make it display only those little sailor-suits on your monitor
Iczelion: See Cko virus definition
Iczer: Your computer sporadically warps out of real space into another dimension, then back, then out, then ...
Iria: Your CD-ROM drive begins to spit out weird looking CD's with evil faces on them
Jinnai: Laughs like an asylum refugee while threatening to take over your HD. When it tries to do so, it fails miserably..."
Junta (DNA^2): Bursts into retching or gas when certain picture files are diplayed.
Karin Aoi (DNA^2): Uses the wrong anti-virus program on the wrong drive.
Karin Aoi 2: Actually an anti-virus program, but instead of destroying the virus, the program strengthens it.
Kasumi: Computer stares blankly at you, even when disaster strikes.
Keiichi: Causes your comm program to dial wrong numbers.
Kekko: Your computer always takes off its cover before it starts working.
Kiki: Your hard drive flies away and makes itself home in another town
Kiki's Delivery Service: Goes slightly awry while trying to transfer files.
Kodachi: Fanatical laughter comes out of your computer
KOR: Only affects computers with two hard drives. You must choose one; the other one crashes
KUNO I: This virus attaches itself to any gif or jpeg files you may have. Once this happens, no amount of virus cleaning will ever get rid of it. As a side effect, it also corrupts any type of text or doc file you may have. It replaces all sentences with long, flowery, drawn-out, senseless paragraphs, and places random meaningless Shakespeare quotes in the middle of all your files.
Kuno II: Variant of the old "Cookie Monster" program, except that it demands that you "call me Sempai!". If you don't respond correctly within 10 seconds, it attempts to cleave through your hard drive (unsucessfuly).
Lufy: Your computer kicks your ass every time you switch it on
Lum: Your computer shocks you whenever you look at another computer
Macek: All your system messages are subbed into incomprehensibility.
Macross 7: Your computer only accepts a guitar as an input device
Macross Plus: Attempts to hack itself while playing sound files.
Macross:DYRL Turns your sound card into the most powerfull weapon in the universe
Maison Ikkoku: Slows to a crawl at the slightest sign of noise, stress or attractive young widows.
MD Geist: Looks like a virus checking program but crashes your hard drive in the end
MERMAID'S FLESH: Disguised as utility that combines speed doubler, RAM doubler, hard disk doubler and self-updating antivirus. However will only load as such one out of every 10,000 installations: all other times reformats then crashes all your drives, screws up your BIOS, burns out your display and shorts the power supply.
Mighty Space Miners: your computer reveals to you that it has a small, nuclear device imbedded in the hard drive
Mihoshi: AKA Windows '95
Min Mei: Your computer sings like Min Mei and will NEVER SHUT UP.
Misty Mae: Once "delete" is pressed, the hard drive decides it likes "deleting" so much that it deletes ALL your files. (and then blows up your computer)
Miyazaki: Your computer becomes God
Miyu: Your computer attempts to bite you.
Mousse Screen becomes blurred and impossible to read. Also hides files in numerous hidden subdirectories.
Nabiki: Computer will allow you access to your files, for a fee.
Nene: Your computer eats every disk placed in its A: drive (also known as the "Rummy Virus")
Ninja Scroll: Actually a virus checker, distirbuted along with the eight worst viruses known to man. After a lengthy struggle, during which some random yet extremely important files get trashed, the eight viruses are destroyed. Then the virus checker refuses to work for you.
Nuku Nuku: Your computer blows up when it overheats
Ohmu: Your computer goes out of control when you swat a fly
Ohta: Your hard drive attacks your mother-board every time it's accessed
Otaku no Video: Your computer realizes how obsolete it REALLY is. :)
Patlabor: Your computer connects to the nearest network and a) Version 1.0: crashes every system b) Version 2.0: creates false files and creates viruses in other computers.
Project Ako: Your A: and B: drives fight over your C: drive
Protoculture: Your computer spends all of its time trying to discover the secrets of protoculture instead of running your applications.
Ranma: Your PC turns into a Mac when splashed with cold water (or vice versa)
Rei Rei: Will only operate by pulling your face up between the CPU and monitor, and leave magic powder on your floppies;
Riiqunni: Your computer will not boot unless you first pause to say grace with it. Also replaces that nifty BGC screensaver with religious messages.
Robotech: Combination of the Macross, Southern Cross, and Mospeda viruses
Ryoga I: Your DOS propmt becomes ?:?, and you change directories at random.
Ryoga II: Your hard drive just runs and runs and runs...
Ryunosuke: Your PC insists it's a Mac (or vice versa)
Sailor Moon virus: Causes computer to whine when you ask tell it to compile, giggles when boys enter the room, but has added feature of theft prevention. Upon detecting a criminal, computer will shout, "On, behalf of the Moon, I will right wrongs and triumph over evil! (and that means you!!)"
Sailor Moon: Similar to Cko virus. Your computer starts whining then throws your hard drive at you
Samurai: Your computer crashes in the presence of a naked woman
Sandor: Turns all your computer's peripherals into bombs
Sanyijan: The Hard Drive sucks your soul and makes you immortal.
Sharon Apple: Your computer develops a sense of survival and tries to wipe you out
Skuld: Your computer will not work unless you give it ice cream. Also might brain you with a mallet in the middle of debugging.
Soun: Every time a disk or system error occurs, your computer will sob and wail.
StarBlazers: Every time your computer locks up, the power supply releases a HUGE burst of energy to jolt it back online
Streamline: this virus changes the text in all your files into total garbage and adds and deletes sentences from them at random
Streamline II: Phrases all your text files to read like radio ads.
Tenchi: Your computer become indecisive and attracts strange files
The Ohmu Virus: Mistaken for a virus, this program actually cleans your hardrive of any virii and imperfections. Only problems are that it takes two thousand years to do it, and if you try to get rid of it, the virus will destroy your computer.
The Bubblegum Crisis Virus: Actually a virus protection program, but has a tendency to hack into other people's computer.
The Ranma 1/2 Virus: put a disk in drive a, and your computer turns into a Mac. Put a disk in drive b and it turns back into a PC
The Dirty Pair Virus: Actually a virus-protection program, but destroys half your hard-drive in the process.
The Ryouga Virus: You computer gets lost on the way to DOS.
U-doji: Your computer grows tentacles. Byuck.
URD: A very attractive "desktop" comes on screen, claiming to have optimized system so you get faster results. When an application is launched from the desktop, video of Bodacious Babe plays on screen while program loads. Nine out of ten times the application then crashes with loss of all data and corruption of program code.
Uresei Yatsura Your computer does weird things but makes you laugh
Urotsukidoji: you are safe if you are a male user; if female, run.
Urotsukidoji III: Chops out large portions of normal operation until you're left with almost nothing but horrible crashes.
Video Girl Ai: Your computer tries to access the A: drive which is busy trying to access the B: drive. Your C: drive then tries to help the computer which then accesses the C: drive instead at which point the C: drive crashes
Washuu: The computer refuses to run any programs unless you address it as "computer-chan" (or "little computer.")
YOHKO: A virus checker, but when you run it you inexplicably become buck naked for the time it takes the program to load.
Yotsuya: Makes a hole in your hard drive
You're Under Arrest Your hard drive jumps out of your computer and speeds down the highway

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